Based on my last blog, you may be guessing what I’m about to get into… Yes, “the proposal”. Having discussed what is effectively ‘the follow up’, ie. working out the time, place and financials surrounding the purchase of the diamond engagement ring, what about part one? How should a man propose?
Thankfully, I have a limit of words to each blog, so don’t worry, this question will not be answered ad nauseum but I’ll just put a few options out there and see if anyone has a strong view one way or another.
And why is it even important? Well, let’s be clear, in today’s society, if a man is expected to spend a month or two of his wages on his lady’s engagement ring, then surely, the whole manner in which he brings about the need for it should be considered. I think it tells a lot about the man, the partner, the partnership. ( hmm, says she, the woman who actually made the suggestion to her her then boyfriend of ‘ I think it would be a good time for us to get engaged’. Oh well, enough said)
So, first of all, should it ever really be a surprise? Quite frankly, I think not. I don’t mean the exact moment, but I mean roughly the period in the relationship when the question is asked or the suggestion made.
If it’s a surprise that the man you’re in love with wants to spend the rest of his life with you, surely something is not quite right. Having said that, it is always nice to be pleasantly ásurprised. ie. you have both been discussing your future, your careers, travel plans, the wish to eventually have children etc, so the scene is set in general.
Now…would you be genuinely delighted if he literally said ‘Will you marry me?’..or would you prefer the whole asking moment to last longer? And (!) with reference to my scenarios last week, ring in hand or not? The symantics are something to consider. Will you marry me is a closed question. It requires simply a yes or no answer. A ‘Maybe’ reply is probably as bad as no in such a situation.
Does the asking of such a direct question show that he is pretty sure that the lady will say yes? If so, great. To be politically correct, I should be discussing this whole topic as if the question were also open for the woman to pose but for today’s purposes, being pc is not on my agenda.
Therefore, closed question aside, what does sound nice? What kind of questions will always stay with you? What do you think of ‘soooo, I was doing a lot of thinking after our talk on the weekend and I realise that, well, all those things I said I hoped I would achieve in life would just be so much more meaningful if you were in involved in each one.. pause…breath…big smile… you feel the same?’ That’s a rather longer way of putting but still making the point quite clear. Oh, and swiftly pulling out ‘the’ right diamond engagement ring from under the sofa pillow after she has replied would be rather perfect too!